My edition: Kindle owned
Genre: Humor, YA
Publish: Nov. 9, 2003
About three things I was absolutely certain.
First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe.
Second, there was a vampire part of him–which I assumed was wildly out of his control–that wanted me dead.
And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he had kissed me.
And thus Belle Goose falls in love with the mysterious and sparkly Edwart Mullen in the Harvard Lampoon’s hilarious send-up of Twilight.
Pale and klutzy, Belle arrives in Switchblade, Oregon looking for adventure, or at least an undead classmate. She soon discovers Edwart, a super-hot computer nerd with zero interest in girls. After witnessing a number of strange events–Edwart leaves his tater tots untouched at lunch! Edwart saves her from a flying snowball!–Belle has a dramatic revelation: Edwart is a vampire. But how can she convince Edwart to bite her and transform her into his eternal bride, especially when he seems to find girls so repulsive?
Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, Nightlight is the uproarious tale of a vampire-obsessed girl, looking for love in all the wrong places.
Okay I should have know what I gotten into when I saw the words parody and lampoon. But wow. If any of you have seen parody movies, guess what? This book is like those. Just cringe. I feel like it was the Wayans brothers wrote this.
I thought to give it the benefit of the doubt but I was wrong. I can’t get past page 9. If you made it through this book, kudos to you. I felt all my brain cells cringe just reading this.
It looked familiar. Four walls and a ceiling, just like my old room in Phoenix!
Yes that is a direct quote. Pretty horrible. Plus this was one of the funny quotes.
I think I will stay away from parodies.